Beads of Courage

Sam has officially gotten his Beads of Courage bead collection started.  If you haven't heard of this organization, please check out their web site.  If your child or someone you know might qualify, check the list to see if their hospital participates.  To date, Sam has 129 beads, each representing a cardiac treatment, doctor visit, or event.  He will earn several more this Friday, when we go to Atlanta for his second heart cath.  We have started his journal, which will help him remember what each bead represents so he can know just how much he has been through.  This is what we wrote on the first page of his journal.

When I first heard about the Beads of Courage program, I thought it was a truly genius idea. Complex medical conditions that affect a child and require lots of treatment are difficult enough for adults to understand. How can anyone expect a child to fully comprehend such a condition, its consequences for their own life, and its consequences for their family? Often times our instinct is to forget our ‘bad’ experiences in life. But you can’t just forget what you have to live with everyday. These conditions just become part of your existence and your personality, whether you want them to or not. How should a family turn the ‘bad’ of that type of condition into ‘good’, and help their child accept and embrace what simply cannot be changed?

That’s the real genius behind Beads. Giving a child a bead that signifies each event of treatment can turn an event that is unexplainable, painful, or scary into something that can be counted, and showed off as unique and special. It can provide a physical history of treatment, but in a language more appealing to children.

When Beads of Courage came to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta, you had already been through two years of treatment. I sat down with the Bead tally sheet and our baby journal for you, and started to tally up your treatment history. I was saddened and joyful at the same time to discover you had earned 129 beads in your first 2 years of life! I was sad because it reminded me of all the things you had been through as a baby, and how unfair it is that any baby should suffer. But it made me joyful to think of what you have overcome, and reminded me that if you have survived these trials, surly you were meant for great things.

Tonight, I am starting your journal for your beads. I want you to be able to not only know you survived a particular treatment, but the story behind each one. Each bead and story should serve as a testament to your own strength, the love and support that surrounds you from your family and friends, and the blessing of top notch medical care that has brought you this far. I can’t wait for the day that you can physically help me write the story of each bead in this journal, and then one day take over writing this journal yourself.

I hope that these beads bring you a sense of accomplishment. I hope that you look at them and feel pride and strength over what you have experienced. I hope you take the beads with you to show-and-tell, write an essay about them in English class, carry them with you to college, display them in your first apartment, share the stories about them from your journal with your wife, and count each one with your children.

Don’t look at these beads and feel sad or cheated. Yes, these beads also symbolize a condition that may have severe consequences for your life span. Yes, these beads may represent pain and suffering. But you must remember that nothing is promised to us in this life. We were never told we would not suffer. We were never promised perfect health and happiness IN THIS LIFE. A person who is born perfectly whole and healthy could find themselves in a more dire situation than yours in a moments time.

Everyone carries a unique cross through life. These beads define yours. Always remember that this cross was chosen for you, and just for you. You have to make the most of your cross, turning the sad and unfortunate into something grand. Our cross is to have to watch our first born suffer, but raise him to overcome and strive for greatness anyway. I hope we succeed.